When Death Does Us Apart..

Sorrow can hardly begin to describe the passing away of a loved one. The pain it leaves behind, the ache, the emptiness, the anger, the tears. It is not the beautiful memories that come to your mind during the final moments. Rather, you wonder how you would lead a life while his absence constantly pounds you, day in and day out; while you are absolutely sure that nobody can ever replace him; while every little thing reminds you of him; while you relive your happy moments only to find sadness in it; while you wonder if there was anything you could have done to delay the inevitable. No amount of tears can wash away the intense pain choking you up.

There are moments when you busy yourself with random tasks, just to get your mind off the pain. There are those other moments where you stare blankly into space, feeling numb and dead inside. On one of those slightly better days, you have a weak smile on your face when you are reminded of the happy memories, and then there are days when you wish he would just stand beside you and say that him being dead was just some cruel joke. He would take away a mighty chunk from you as he departs to the other side, and you simply don't want anyone to fill it up. The ache it leaves behind is a bitter reminder of the what was once complete.

You fail to notice time ticking away slowly, as a you hear a dead march play somewhere at the back of your mind. Mornings fade into a quiet night, sleeplessness welcomes the next morning. The intimate conversations, the hugs, the warmth, the companionship and the love you shared start to fade away slowly, until some day it only seems to be a distant memory. You learn to live with the hollow feeling; you learn to move on, because of course, death is irreversible and so is life.

His name brings a smile to your face - no, not the one that brings a crinkle to your eyes and a glow to your face. It's a smile that is a mere shadow of grief. Remembering him doesn't hurt anymore. You don't miss him every minute like you used to. You even wonder if it is alright to get back to being normal. Yes, the absence remains, but the knowing that he's now safe, and you're on his way to meet him someday consoles you. You find peace somewhere along the way.

Time may not heal, but things do get better eventually. Hope, faith, peace - isn't that what life is also about?

P.S. We'll miss you, Arjun!