Sorrow can hardly begin to describe the
passing away of a loved one. The pain it leaves behind, the ache, the
emptiness, the anger, the tears. It is not the beautiful memories that come to
your mind during the final moments. Rather, you wonder how you would lead a
life while his absence constantly pounds you, day in and day out; while you are
absolutely sure that nobody can ever replace him; while every little thing
reminds you of him; while you relive your happy moments only to find sadness in
it; while you wonder if there was anything you could have done to delay the
inevitable. No amount of tears can wash away the intense pain choking you up.
There are moments when you busy yourself
with random tasks, just to get your mind off the pain. There are those other
moments where you stare blankly into space, feeling numb and dead inside. On
one of those slightly better days, you have a weak smile on your face when you
are reminded of the happy memories, and then there are days when you wish he
would just stand beside you and say that him being dead was just some cruel
joke. He would take away a mighty chunk from you as he departs to the other
side, and you simply don't want anyone to fill it up. The ache it leaves behind
is a bitter reminder of the what was once complete.
You fail to notice time ticking away
slowly, as a you hear a dead march play somewhere at the back of your mind.
Mornings fade into a quiet night, sleeplessness welcomes the next morning. The
intimate conversations, the hugs, the warmth, the companionship and the love
you shared start to fade away slowly, until some day it only seems to be a
distant memory. You learn to live with the hollow feeling; you learn to move
on, because of course, death is irreversible and so is life.
His name brings a smile to your face - no,
not the one that brings a crinkle to your eyes and a glow to your face. It's a
smile that is a mere shadow of grief. Remembering him doesn't hurt anymore. You
don't miss him every minute like you used to. You even wonder if it is alright
to get back to being normal. Yes, the absence remains, but the knowing that
he's now safe, and you're on his way to meet him someday consoles you. You find
peace somewhere along the way.
Time may not heal, but things do get better
eventually. Hope, faith, peace - isn't that what life is also about?
P.S. We'll miss you, Arjun!
