When Death Does Us Apart..

Sorrow can hardly begin to describe the passing away of a loved one. The pain it leaves behind, the ache, the emptiness, the anger, the tears. It is not the beautiful memories that come to your mind during the final moments. Rather, you wonder how you would lead a life while his absence constantly pounds you, day in and day out; while you are absolutely sure that nobody can ever replace him; while every little thing reminds you of him; while you relive your happy moments only to find sadness in it; while you wonder if there was anything you could have done to delay the inevitable. No amount of tears can wash away the intense pain choking you up.

There are moments when you busy yourself with random tasks, just to get your mind off the pain. There are those other moments where you stare blankly into space, feeling numb and dead inside. On one of those slightly better days, you have a weak smile on your face when you are reminded of the happy memories, and then there are days when you wish he would just stand beside you and say that him being dead was just some cruel joke. He would take away a mighty chunk from you as he departs to the other side, and you simply don't want anyone to fill it up. The ache it leaves behind is a bitter reminder of the what was once complete.

You fail to notice time ticking away slowly, as a you hear a dead march play somewhere at the back of your mind. Mornings fade into a quiet night, sleeplessness welcomes the next morning. The intimate conversations, the hugs, the warmth, the companionship and the love you shared start to fade away slowly, until some day it only seems to be a distant memory. You learn to live with the hollow feeling; you learn to move on, because of course, death is irreversible and so is life.

His name brings a smile to your face - no, not the one that brings a crinkle to your eyes and a glow to your face. It's a smile that is a mere shadow of grief. Remembering him doesn't hurt anymore. You don't miss him every minute like you used to. You even wonder if it is alright to get back to being normal. Yes, the absence remains, but the knowing that he's now safe, and you're on his way to meet him someday consoles you. You find peace somewhere along the way.

Time may not heal, but things do get better eventually. Hope, faith, peace - isn't that what life is also about?

P.S. We'll miss you, Arjun! 

Bernie - the Gentle Giant

During regular course of work at Humane Animal Society (HAS), we come across many dogs abandoned by their humans for various reasons - a minor case of skin infection, job transfers, animal's age, the cost of maintaining the so-called pure breeds, major illness, etc... One such abandoned dog is now our Bernie.

It didn't come as a surprise when one of my friends called me one late February night and said there was a dog near Vadavalli that seemed lost. Some people there said the dog had been there for about three days. Moreover it looked like the dog hadn't eaten anything for days.

St Bernard

I was mildly shocked when she mentioned that it was a St.Bernard. Remember the movie Beethoven? Yes, the very same breed. A quick Google search would tell you that Saint Bernards are originally from Swiss Alps and are usually bred for rescue. Imagine the irony when we were asked to rescue this dog, in hot city like ours.

The following day the dog was brought over to our animal shelter at Seeranaickenpalayam where the doctors ran a quick check up. She was a weak, skinny dog and had been neglected for quite some time. However, that was the least of our concerns. Her lower back and hind limbs were so weak that a small amount of pressure on her rear would make her drop to a sitting position. She also had a pronounced limp when she walked. She weighed hardly 30 kilos when a healthy St Bernard would be a minimum of 65 kilos. In spite of all this, I could see a small smile on her face, something that told me this giant was gentle at heart.

Our Bernie

Further check-ups and X-ray showed that she had a rare genetic disorder, possibly due to in-breeding. I'm assuming someone bought her from a breeder maybe to show-off an exotic breed but abandoned her when they found out she wasn't doing too well. I can't think of any other reason why anybody would have the heart to leave her on the streets! 

February was the time of bright, sunny days and Bernie was often found under the shade of a tree, trying to keep herself cool. I definitely can't imagine myself wearing heavy winter clothing in such warm weather - 24x7. Poor girl, I wonder how she managed the harsh heat of summer with her thick fur.

It’s May now, Summer is over and the showers have started in Coimbatore. In the past two and half months she has shown a great deal of improvement in her health. She has gained a little weight and seems quite content hanging around with her other puppy friends and occasionally humans. Bernie loves a good pat and enjoys heaps of attention. Now that she is stronger she runs around and plays happily. However due to her genetic disorder, she needs to be under medication all through her life.

One of the volunteers in HAS told me that he once read somewhere that St. Bernards remain puppies at heart till the time they turn 6. Trust me, he read it right. This gentle giant is still a puppy at heart, albeit a slightly bigger one. Give her your time, and she will definitely make it worth it. Oh! And she is up for adoption, if you can promise her lots of time, lots of attention and lots of space for her to run around. She of course needs proper medical care too. Bernie will not just be a pet, mind you; she will be your responsibility.

In my opinion, she would be the best cure for someone dealing with loneliness and depression. She will pay back for her constant need for attention with unimaginable amount of love and wet kisses. She would most definitely not leave you alone for a moment, and her smile is simply too contagious. She would be your sunshine in Winter. She would spread warmth when you shiver in the chilly night. And she would be your unconditional lover.

Bernie: a gentle giant, a puppy at heart, and the ever present sunshine.